Cowboy Blob's Saloon and Shootin Gallery

I'm not a real Cowboy, but I play one in the movies.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

White New Year

A few seconds after I took this pic was the last I ever saw of Mom's recycling bin, which seems to have been carried away in all the howling wind that's been dumping snow on the mountain since I woke up.



The lady  goes shopping while dude poses in the sun.


Monday, December 29, 2008

WTF, Romo, Over?

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Sunday, December 28, 2008

Meet Harry

The Hairy Woodpecker

Nom, nom, nom....

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Saturday, December 27, 2008

Merry Christmas, Y'all!

I hope yours was as good as mine!

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Xmas Eve

I didn't make it up the driveway.

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Thursday, December 25, 2008

Christmas Week Contest

Sticky until New Years. Scroll down for new content.

Tell me a story.

There's no Caption Contest this week because I probably won't have blog access until Christmas Eve and I'll probably be too busy then anyway.

So write me a story about Christmas, in Drinks Ordered or on your blog, and I'll give the winner a ten-day Blog Ad. Deadline to submit entries is Christmas Day.


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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

F-f-f-f-f-f-fu** You, Al Gore! it was cold on the road! I loaded up the truck in my black T-shirt, but needed my medium winter jacket and gloves as I gassed up just past El Paso... and throughout Texas and Arkansas. Only took one short nap in East Texas (draped my Goretex -- ironic, huh? -- Titans jacket over my legs) as I zonked out in the Ranger Motel. The next day, I'd nap east of Knoxville, in Bristol, every I-81 rest stop but one in VA, WV, and just across the PA border to greet the sun. The sun seemed to stop my nap attacks.

At the I-78/81 split (where 81 climbs the PA Alps), I ran into the only visible snow since Tucson's Mt. Lemmon. Of course, most of Hoofytown is at a similar elevation, so I've been in a Winter Wonderland since. They're calling for freezing rain tonight and some tomorrow. Oh, Joyeaux Noel.

If you don't hear from me for a few days, I'll be spending the holiday toting meltwater to flush the toilets during the power outage.


Saturday, December 20, 2008

December Tactical Goodness

Wow, we're not used to having December matches! The Weather Gods smiled on us with a gloriously clear day. I was able to shed my winter jacket before first shot, and I was down to my black T-Shirt by the second stage. For the fun of it, Jon brought his $300 Assault Weapon and kicked some major butt. I think I did okay, but the Bug-out Truck ate my lunch. I don't think I was alone in that regard. Fun times!


Friday, December 19, 2008

My First Post from the MacTop

Scary, huh?


My Christmas Stocking?

What do I want?

1. I want everyone I meet to be filled with the joy of the Christmas season.

2. That everyone is happy, healthy, and not at all Muslim terrorist scumbags.

3. Dana Delaney in a torn GI T-shirt is too much to ask, so I'll just go with the ol' stand by "World Peace." Even if that's achieved by Tehran being reduced to smoldering radioactive ashes.



Okay, it's up on Mt. Lemmon and Mt. Wrightson and not in my driveway, so that's how I like it. I didn't even need the light jacket I wore as I ran all my errands today; the black T-shirt was enough. The clouds were out in force, though, and nightly forecasts call for temps in the high 30s. We don't have a great record for putting on December shooting matches, neither in Phoenix where they've been called on account of high winds, nor in Catalina, where winter rains close the washes that the range road crosses. I hope the weather gods smile on us through the weekend.


Thursday, December 18, 2008

I used to have money

But then I paid tuition, went Christmas shopping, winterized the Ranger, and bought a MacBook for school. At least I've got a cash reserve for the road trip East (will get plunked down for the credit card bill when I get back if nothing bad happens).

Freakin' MacTops don't have a dial-up modem in them so I have to spring for a USB modem? I didn't go totally cheap, but didn't go MacBookPro, either. I might even load up the Final Cut Pro 6 software and play with that while I'm home.

Maybe I should have sprung for a trip to the optometrist, too. Those icons on the new camera sure seem small.

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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Help a Grrl Out

Cav Arms model in an on-line modeling contest.

Oops, that's in the Members Only area.

Step 1:
add to your friends list

step 2:
vote for me in the 2009 horns n halos flyer girl contest
(all you have to do it go to the album, and hit comment and post something under my picture!) Its marked "Ali Crimson"

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Super Genius

So that must be how he gets all that Acme stuff.

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Avoiding homework again

Made a version of this for a Pats fan friend.


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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Koreans Kick Ass

Looks like they're more excited about this technology than we are.


I Bet

Monday, December 15, 2008

Weekend Caption/Photoshop Contest

Sticky until Monday -- Scroll Down for New Stuff

Got a caption or photoshop for this photo? You could win a coveted Blog Ad on my side bar! Leave a caption or photo link in comments, or Email a pic to me at the address in my profile. If you're sending a large animation, please provide a hot-linkable URL.

You need not own a blog to win! I'll advertise your favorite charity, web site, or even your obsolete snow tires now that global warming is imminent!

Check out the links in Drinks Ordered for photoshops!

Judging begins Monday Night.


2nd Place: Shooter was a major favorite with:
After carefully sucking all the chrome off the trailer hitch, Lisa went the extra mile and worked the rims over, too.
1st Place: Roberta X slipped in as the dark horse candidate with:
"Yep, it was German Shepard, all right."

Other Contests

Family Security Matters
Gone Rick Motel
Outside the Beltway
RT's Ponderings
Support Your Local Gunfighter
Right Pundits


Misogyny - That's Like Backrubs and Stuff, Right?

Michigan ACTS... Brrrrrrrr

More, bigger pics here.

The AZ match is this coming Saturday.


Yeah, That's Me

Click pic for link.

h/t to The Lumberjack


Sunday, December 14, 2008

Looks like I Gotta Drink the Kool-Ade

One of the required materials for my Digital Video Editing class is Apple's Final Cut Pro 6, so I guess that laptop I've been shopping for will have to be a Mac. At least the program's not as insanely expensive as Adobe Premiere... the "industry standard" the college DAR Department follows is Mac and Adobe.

Stay tuned next year for free samples of my classwork. Also taking Cinematography and Beginning Video Production. Maybe they'll let me intern with Michael Bane some day!

Update: Final Cut Pro was a lot more expensive than Premiere, but worth every penny.

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Lil Bro didn't get a buck this year (so far). He was carrying a Remington. Lil Sis, the BinkerMom, got her first doe. She was driving a MercuryFord.

Lil Sis is okay, with just some aches and bruises. The MercuryFord, not so great.


Friday, December 12, 2008


How is it I can act in a play with no problem, but before almost every public speaking opportunity in my life, I have to toss my cookies beforehand? This morning was a bagel and half a cookie. I think it's because in acting and in teaching crypto-Korean, I knew my sh*t, so there was nothing to be anxious about, just go perform. At a shooting match, or an art critique, I don't have that same comfort. Funny, on a date, meeting the lady doesn't make me nervous, but going out someplace does.

Anyway, my stomach's all out of sorts today, so I'm blowing off the pre-match ACTS Pow-wow up on the north end of town.

Update: You ever hear the submarine in Operation Petticoat? That's what my tummy sounds like tonight.

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The New Camera's Here!

My crappy phone-camera gets one last blog duty before it's relegated to Last Resort again. The new Canon Powershot A590 is smaller, uses only two AA batteries instead of the A80's four, takes bigger pictures and movies, and can zoom while videoing.

One feature I'll miss is the flip-around monitor which lets you shoot over the top of tall people or take self-portraits without using a mirror.


Art Final

Update: Today was the last day of class and our final critique. Both pieces were well received; in fact, the Frazetta homage got some comments beyond the perfunctory, "I like your use of color." Now I've got one piece of board left and a lot of art supplies... what to do with it? I'm thinking of something a la Boris Vallejo/Julie Bell -- now if only I could find a hot chick to pose for me....



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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Happy Birthday, Lil Bro!

Dana sends her love and birthday wishes.


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

My Hate Keeps Me Warm

Actually, so does the last of the rum. I'm probably going to have to turn on the heat this week, then use up my Home Depot gift card and get some filters for the furnace. My Yahoo weather forecaster is finally getting some lows in the high 30s. Good thing I'm growing my winter beard!

Yup, the chicks dig it, too.

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Like MySpace with a Ashtray

Joined Facebook tonight and immediately caught up with several old friends from the USAF and even one from high school. I'll probably miss my 30th high school reunion next year with my academic schedule being what it should be. Oh well, there's only a handful of people I really look forward to seeing at those, like Paul M. who sat next to me in English class, was my roommate at language school, and still didn't rat me out when he was on the faculty at USAF Survival School and I was going through the Advanced Beatings Course. Maybe he just didn't have anything interesting to contribute.

I won't link to my account here because I prefer a separation, however thin, between the Blog Me and the Real Me. Honest, the Blog Me is much more interesting, so content yourself with that.

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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Karaoke Meme

Even if you can't sing... especially if you can't sing, what song would you like to master at a karaoke bar? A friend and coworker of mine used to wow them at the NCO Club talent contests by wailing out "Try a Little Tenderness," made popular by Otis Redding. Truly electrifying! Of course, the beer he'd spring for at the Skivvy Nine Lounge both before and after the performance were nice.

If I were to ever have the guts to get up to a microphone, I'd do Engelbert Humperdinck's "After the Lovin'." Ladies, don't all throw your panties at me at once -- I'm only one man! Don't make me break into Barry Manilow tunes! I'm saving the Tom Jones stuff for emergencies!


General Tso, Call your Office

Every once in a while, I'll pick up a half dozen containers of Tai Pei brand frozen Chinese; it's good, relatively cheap fare, if a little on the bland side. THEIR General Tso must have served in a different frakkin' army than the real one! The chicken is not supposed to be sliced bits o' white meat in mixed veggies and sauce. There wasn't even any rice in the container! I salvaged it with a scoop of rice from the cooker and a squirt of sriracha sauce.

Guess I'll have to patronize the Chinese place down the road for Gen. Tso goodness. It's too complicated to make myself.

Pic hoarked from Wikipedia, not Tai Pei!



Not getting much done today. Working on my Writing 101 final, a research argument against HR6257, the Assault Weapon Ban Re-authorization of 2008. Our instructor rolled her eyes as she listed several topics she'd rather not see again, Gun Control being one of them. Fortunately, she relented and let me argue something I'm passionate about; I'd have trouble filling three double-spaced pages arguing against the California Ferret Ban.

"But they're so cuuuuute!"


Miss You Guys


Monday, December 08, 2008

Weekend Caption/Photoshop Contest

Sticky until Monday -- Scroll Down for New Stuff

Got a caption or photoshop for this photo? You could win a coveted Blog Ad on my side bar! Leave a caption or photo link in comments, or Email a pic to me at the address in my profile. If you're sending a large animation, please provide a hot-linkable URL.

You need not own a blog to win! I'll advertise your favorite charity, web site, or even your blue ribbon venison jerky!

Check out the links in Drinks Ordered for photoshops!

Judging begins Monday Night.


Kyle the Opinionated wins with:
Never mind the blood and bits of fur dangling off the wickedly sharp horns. The empty dog house and the look of pure malevolence on the bucks' faces told me that I would never see Fluffy alive again.
Other Contests:

Family Security Matters
Gone Rick Motel
Right Pundits
Outside the Beltway
RT's Ponderings
Support Your Local Gunfighter


Sunday, December 07, 2008

Is it Safe?

Countertop is talking about security cabinets and safes.

If you own a gun, you should have a secure place to store it.

Even if you don't have yard apes running around your house getting into things, keep in mind how felons get their hands on guns illegally... they steal them.

Security cabinets are good for keeping the little cookie monsters' mitts out of trouble, but stop a determined crowbar-totin' burglar? I doubt it. Don't skimp on security; get the best you can afford! Since I've got several pricey firearms to protect, I upgraded from Homak steel security cabinets to a bolted-down, fire-resistant Liberty gun safe. Unfortunately, the 18-long gun capacity would only hold 18 scope-less fuddguns, but fewer EBRs with eviiiil acoutrements. Geez, it's a mess in there.

One good thing about gun safes is that they can hold more than guns... like deeds, titles, bonds, prescription meds, spare keys... you name it. I still use the Homaks for storage, but the goods therein are markedly more "low rent."

Update: Your thoughtful comments and links led me to do some web surfing on the subject. Here's a pretty good discussion at The High Road.



Saturday, December 06, 2008

Note to Family Bloglurkers

Do not get me a digital camera for Christmas!

I just ordered one. I really don't want to jeopardize my holiday camera-geekery with a camera I'm still learning to use, much less miss some bloggable footage at the December ACTS Match. I'm getting another Canon PowerShot at a killer price (and twice the Mpx as the old one).

I know there might be better dig-cams out there, but I really like the tough little Canon (though I may have dropped mine one too many times). I'll probably be looking for something more upscale next year when I'll be knee-deep in Film/Digital Art core curriculum classes. Peace out.

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Cowboy Pickup Lines

"You sure make me wish I hadn't crapped my pants when that bull charged"

"Got 8 seconds?"

"Ropes, spurs, leather gloves -- Honey, even if I weren't no cowboy, we're talking a good time!"

"Honey, I need a belt buckle this large to keep from gettin' arrested in Mississippi."

"Ain't no rodeo clown in the world that could keep me off you, Darlin'."

"Here's my number, call me when you need a few bucks."

"Run if ya want, Missy, but I'll have you hog-tied quicker than you can say 'stay away from me you Skoal-chewin'freak.'"

"How'd you like to put a pinch of me between your cheek and gum?"

"Them calves of yours sure look like they could use a bit of ropin'."

"I'll be in Intensive Care later. Why don't you drop by?"

"Is that a pelvis broken in three places, or are you just happy to see me?"

"That's right, I said 'AND the horse you rode in on.'"

An Arizona cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?'
'No', he replies, 'I just got this state-of the art watch, and I was just testing it.'
The intrigued woman says, 'A state of the art watch? What's so special about it?'
The cowboy explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'
The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?'
'Well, it says you're not wearing any panties'
The woman giggles and replies, 'Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!'
The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, 'Damn thing's an hour fast.'

He: You are very pretty. Do you have any Texan in you?
She: No.
He: Do you want some?

"I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag. "

I shaved my head, wore a toga and sandals and went to a bar. I went up to unsuspecting babes and said, "Hey little girl, want some Gandhi?"

Hey, wait....


Blue Press

That's the name of Dillon Precision's catalog and the nickname of their signature product, the progressive reloading press. Mine's even more blue because it's been neglected for years. See all the dust in the bullet tray? If I could muster the motivation and concentration to get back to it (and get a expert on Dillons to tell me what I did wrong), I could be cranking out ammo much cheaper than I could buy anywhere.

Heck, there's room on the bench for my two RCBS Rockcrushers. I'd just load revolver calibers with those so I wouldn't have to switch out the tooling on the Dillon.

Marcus has just entered the world of reloading. I wish him better luck than I had.


I'd like the Wyatt Album, Abney Road, Yellow Subnarine....

Who'd'a thunk the Binker was such a Beatles freak?

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Mmmmm... is that hand-pulled?


Friday, December 05, 2008


Our dear Art Teacher declared that our final project, due next week, should be the culmination of all we've learned in class and should show more work than any previous project.

Okay... I've been working on this for at least 6 hours today (after class, since I didn't bring any illustration board, expecting a critique of our scientific drawings), so I've got the labor prerequisite taken care of. Acrylics are kicking my ass, but I think I can squeeze a "B" out of this (unless Kate makes me touch it up in Final Critique Day).

If I'd known getting the lower background would be so tough, I'd have painted the whole thing black and added stars. I still must paint some tongues (and stuff) and a big spooky moon in the background... and send a letter of apology to Frank Frazetta.

BTW, black acrylic photographs blue.

PS. The above pic was taken on my camera phone since my digital camera is just about kaput. Geez, right behind my Master Bedroom toilet, the microwave, my garbage disposal, and hopefully, nothing else.

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Yeah, She made me work on it....


Thursday, December 04, 2008

So Much for Short Bursts

I remember when Cesty was a waist-high tyke with a Nerf Gun and before she'd run outside with it, Jon would advise, "Remember: short, controlled bursts!"

But she had fun, and that was more the purpose of the exercise than to knock over bowling pins set a bit too far for an Uzi to practically address.

BTW, Jon tried some WWB 9-mm in the Hebroom and it sounded a lot more like a real Uzi. He could squeeze off double-taps with a light trip of the trigger. Between the hotness of Wolf 9-mm and the light bolt, I've been getting Mac-10-like cyclic rates out of the Hebroom.


Xmas Fail

h/t to Doorguy

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Wednesday, December 03, 2008

It's a Girl!

Mrs. Earp gave birth to Wyatt's first and only daughter! Start cleaning the shotgun! All the boy's'll be stopping by soon!


Friday Art Class

This week we have due a scientific drawing of a bug or a lizard... in Black & White (Micron pen). Well, CB doesn't do bugs. With a mind that our final project will be to take the same subject do something else with it (like anthropomorphize it into some kind of super-hero), I picked the most kick-ass lizard on the planet, the Komodo Dragon. Y'all remember the intro to Johnny Quest? Who needs dinosaurs?

I'm not settled on the super-hero conversion yet. I wonder if Lil Bro remembers when we used to catch lizards and stick them inside our model tanks so that their heads poked out of the hatches? That would be cool, but I don't think the school would think much of a big lizard in a Waffen SS Panzerfuhrer's uniform.

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Tuesday, December 02, 2008


h/t to Cavalry Arms


It's a Good Garble


Seen on dozens o' blogs

THINGS I'VE DONE (in bold):

1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars.
3. Played in a band. (My music teacher thanked me.)
4. Visited Hawaii. (Saw it from the airport. That counts, right?)
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity. (If you can give, you can afford.)
7. Been to Disneyland. (Nope, just measly old Disney World.)
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo. (But not in public.)
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris. (A reluctant tourist, I couldn't pass up a trip to the Paris Air Show on my once-in-a-lifetime TDY to Europe.)
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
15. Adopted a child. (Ferrets don't count?)
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables. (Technically, they were Mom and Dad's)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France. (Notre Dame was closed due to a bomb threat, but the Louvre was cool.)
20. Slept on an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked. (Our ride back to Monterey from San Mateo blew up.)
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a Marathon. (LOL!)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise. (Actually a 3-hour tour. Was not marooned with a farm girl and a movie starlet off the coast of Korea.)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors. (Darn it, it was behind the Iron Curtain when I was in Europe... but I did see Germany.)
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language. (Boy, was my Korean teacher pissed to see Let's Learn Japanese in my book bag.)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. (Then I quit my job.)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing. (Spelunking, whatever.)
40. Seen Michelangelo's David. (No, but I saw Venus de Milo)
41. Sung karaoke. (You can't get me that drunk.)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris..
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain. (It was raining outside.)
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a martial arts class. (Marksmanship is a martial art, right?)
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies.
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Got flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma. (Over 10 gallons of Baby Brigade Type O negative and four units of platelets.)
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp.
67. Bounced a check. (Not my fault!)
68. Flown in a helicopter. (USMC Super Stallion, Army Chinook, USAF Huey)
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial. (During a hurricane.)
71. Eaten Caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle. (Couldn't see any speed limit signs from behind the driver.)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person. (And I live in AZ, dammit!)
80. Published a book. (Training manuals, really. Highly classified. Don't make me kill you.)
81. Visited the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car. (And drove it halfway across Texas on the same day.)
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Read the entire Bible. (Just the naughty parts).
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had chickenpox.
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury. (Yes, he tried to mail 13 pounds of marijuana; Yes, you screwed up her breast cancer diagnosis; No, you silly C**T, quit faking the whiplash!)
91. Met someone famous. (Adrienne Barbeau!).
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a law suit.
98. Owned a cell phone. (Got my first one only this year!)
99. Been stung by a bee.
100. Read an entire book in one day.


Monday, December 01, 2008



Weekend Caption/Photoshop Contest

Sticky until Monday -- Scroll Down for New Stuff

Got a caption or photoshop for this photo? You could win a coveted Blog Ad on my side bar! Leave a caption or photo link in comments, or Email a pic to me at the address in my profile. If you're sending a large animation, please provide a hot-linkable URL.

You need not own a blog to win! I'll advertise your favorite charity, web site, or even your webcam URL!

Check out the links in Drinks Ordered for photoshops!

Judging begins Monday Night.


Roberta X was peeved at my unearthing this old pic of her (because her hair was messed up), so she responded with:

Cowboy Blob as seen by Genderanalyzer

Touche', Roberta. Touche'.

An Honorable Mention goes to Serr8d for his Photoshop.

Other Contests:

Support your Local Gunfighter
Family Security Matters
Right Pundits
Outside the Beltway
RT's Ponderings


Visits Since September 11, 2004