Cowboy Blob's Saloon and Shootin Gallery

I'm not a real Cowboy, but I play one in the movies.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Merry Christmas!

Fear not, faithful readers, this old cowboy hasn't fallen off a cliff or gotten eaten by bears...not yet anyway. Just went riding a ways on my trusty steed Ranger. Rode quite a ways, through ice storms, blizzards, and southern riders who can't handle a little ice and snow on the trail. It got the worst when I reached Slick Willy Gulch. Saw many a sport utility pony flat on their sides off the trail, their riders reluctantly loading their sixgun to end their misery. Trudged through the snow to reach Graceland Ranch and sloshed through the slush past Music City. The ride through Ol' Virginny was painless, since Ranger's stride was consistant, but my tail was so numb, I needed to camp on the trail after I passed the Mason and Dixon homesteads. I reached the family farm on Christmas Eve.

The Christmas feast was at my sister's house. Mmmm...venison lasagna! My brother scored a doe this year during the antlerless season. Much holiday cheer was shared and we showered attention on little Erin, my niece, the only kid at the adults' table. That's what you get when you have a career woman and two hermits in the family, leaving the retirement surprise to do all the procreating.

I hope you all had a great Christmas, and those of you who don't know Christ from Adam, have a Happy Late December Day Off. And those skunks out there who might be eyeing up the Cowboy Blob Saloon while I'm gone, watch out for Senorita Lisa del Bikerchick, my Latina ferret-keeper. She's a dead-eye with a pistol and ain't shy with the scattergun, either!

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Monday, December 20, 2004

A Christmas Miracle

From a friend's Email:

I had a shitty fucking day. From morning 'til night. I locked myself out of my truck....twice....third time in three days....third time in ten years, at least. First time, on the weekend, cost me $50.00 because there wasn't anybody in the office to bring me the spares.

I picked up 'residential' appliances for my project today....they loaded the wrong stuff. I spent five fucking hours getting stuff that was only two miles from my project, working with people who would just disappear. Going from warehouse to warehouse while these stupid fucks scratched their nuts and picked their noses. By the time I got everything I was supposed to get
the day was done.

I have some last minute shopping to do.

I'm in the parking lot of Sam's Club....freezing my balls off late in the afternoon....locked out of my truck for the second time today. I decide to go into Sam's and warm up, waiting for my office to bring me keys to let me in my truck for the second time today. Did I mention that our office is across the street from Sam's Club? Did I mention nobody was in the office
late in the day? Did I mention I have keys and a code to get in the office....LOCKED IN MY FUCKING TRUCK???? Anyway, I need to use the restroom.

I'm pissy, cold, and nearly on my last squeeze as I sit and do my thing. Did I notice this stall was out of paper?????? No. Don't be fucking silly. I haven't noticed keys in the ignition before locking my door lately. Why would I look for paper in the fucking dispenser?

I'm sitting there, smoke coming out of my ears, contemplating either drowning myself in the bowl, or pulling up my pants and getting 'squishy' until I get home to clean myself up when....there's a rustle from the next stall and miraculously a line of toilet paper appears under the partition separating us. I look at it for a moment and wonder what the person next to
me will think if I scoop some of his paper. I bend over and peer under the partition. There's nobody there. I bend over a little farther....nope. I'm alone in the bank of stalls. I reach down and grab the line of paper. I pull, thinking I'll get a sheet or two....sufficient to at least remove the lumps....and I get a sting of sheets. I break off what I need, use it and pull again for a second round. I get another string of sheets.

Now! _Everybody_ knows that public restroom toilet paper comes off the roll one sheet at a time.

Was that a magic moment or what????

Merry Christmas everybody. My festive season just improved.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Cap'n, the Servers are Gonna Blow

Well, maybe I won't be doing a lot more graphics posting so soon. Earthlink has informed me that I'm exceeding my bandwidth for a private site. I've been uploading all my pics to the free web storage EL gives you with an Earthlink Email account and img src'ing them via HTML on my posts. Looks like I'm gonna have to cut down or use somewhere else. I guess it's a good thing my posting will be slowing down over the holidays anyway as I get out of the house for a change and be sociable.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Anime Aircraft Pr0n - Lockheed P-38L

It shot down the architect of the Pear Harbor attack, Admiral Yamamoto. It served America's two greatest aces, Bong and McGuire, in combat. For lots of Lightning Lore, check out the Commissar's site Ace Pilots.

Saved by the Bear

Black-Five has a letter from Mark, a Marine Gunny serving in Iraq who tells of the ripples of fate resulting from giving toys to the children of Iraq. While you're there, hit all the other links.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

"Bomb Them With Love"

Today's the last day I'll pester you with Spirit of America posts. If you haven't given yet, think about it. What's the cost of one six-pack of beer to you? One Hardee's Monster Burger? One joint or rock of crack? Okay, just kidding about that last one. Give what you can.

Right now, we stand firmly in second place, behind the evil Northern Alliance, and ahead of the fast-rising Pajamahadeen. We've raised $6110 and Rhianna at A Texan Abroad has offered to post some cleavage if we break the $6500 mark. I'd post some cleavage too if I thought you'd be interested.

If cleavage isn't your thing, how about a Castle Argghhh coffee mug?

Mickey at Intellectual Intercourse has today's essay. Go there, and read. And give, please.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Night Before Christmas - Aviation Style

Jen Martinez at A Collection of Thoughts has a version of the classic Xmas poem I've never read before:

'Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp,
Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Champ.
The aircraft were fastened to tie downs with care,
In hopes that come morning, they all would be there.

The fuel trucks were nestled, all snug in their spots,
With gusts from two-forty at 39 knots.
I slumped at the fuel desk, now finally caught up,
And settled down comfortably, resting my butt.

When the radio lit up with noise and with chatter,
I turned up the scanner to see what was the matter.
A voice clearly heard over static and snow,
Called for clearance to land at the airport below.

Read the rest.

Hugh Can Cook

From Guest Blogger AFSister:

Due to the unfortunate incarceration of America’s favorite Domestic Goddess, we will be unable to air “A Very Martha Christmas” this year. However, we here at CBS are proud to present the following replacement Christmas special:
“Hugh Hewitt Does Christmas Up Right”.

Hugh’s guest crafter, Bill Maher, will show you how to create Christmas tree ornaments from pencil shavings, pantyhose eggs and orange peels. Can’t you just see it now? You’ll also get decorating ideas on making an Eiffel Tower Christmas Card holder and soft, furry stockings to hang by the chimney. It’s amazing what you can do with barbed wire and kittens these days!

Recipes? You bet! What Christmas special would be complete without food? Here’s a little teaser recipe for you- try it out on your family before the company arrives so you can tweak it.

Hugh Hewitt’s Crustless Tabby-Cheddar Quiche

Butter (not margarine)
Coarse salt
10 oz. fresh tabby cat (8 oz. frozen)
6 large eggs, whipped
½ c half & half
Fresh ground pepper to taste
1/8t ground nutmeg
¾ cup shredded cheddar cheese

Just a reminder: “Hugh Hewitt Does Christmas Up Right” airs Saturday, December 18 at 8PM.

Now, if you want to show your DISLIKE for tasteless shows like this, click HERE and support The Castle Argghhh! Fighting Fusileers for Freedom! Besides, REAL men don’t eat quiche OR tabby cat!

Here’s what WE support:

Operation Dreamseed is dedicated to re-establishing agricultural excellence, rebuilding schools and outfitting medical clinics in Afghanistan.

The Marines are giving economic power to the women of Ramadi through the use of sewing machines.

Spirit of America donated 10,000 school supply kits, 3 tons of medical supplies and 2 tons of Frisbees printed with "Friendship" in English and Arabic.

More at Dean's World.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Ya Meet All Kinds

I was just cleaning the beer glasses the other night and I noticed this character at the end of the bar. He was having a loud argument about the supremacy of the .45 ACP cartridge and Pam Anderson's boobs...strangely, there was no one else in the saloon at the time. Well, there was me, and a few of the dance hall girls were cowering in the corner. I asked the stranger his name...all I got was a growl. Then he started beating on the tables with drumsticks. He was wearing a T-Shirt which read, "American Drumslinger."

After he left, it took me hours to sand the teeth marks out of the edge of the bar.

Can-Do Coalition

Amazon Kate at the Last Amazon gives the finger to America's 21st Century "Winter Soldiers" and presses on with the Spirit of America's vital mission of bringing peace and prosperity to the long-embattled people of Iraq and Afghanistan.

While you're there, drop her some get well wishes for her recovery from emergency dental surgery!

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Sunday Ferret Blogging, 12 Dec

Mooglie thinks things go better with Coke.

Bon Jouuuurrrrrrr

Ya Cheese Eatin' Surrender Monkeys!

Shout out to Groundskeeper Willy for today's theme.

"Fusileer," our Spirit of America Team moniker, might be a French term, but that's about all France has been contributing to peace and prosperity in the Middle East. Still, some of our rivals have been seen to be getting cozy with our unwashed so-called "bon amis" on the Seine. Jack at Random Fate has the expose'. He supplies even more reason to give to the cause.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Hat Tip to Sir John

There's a good reason why John at Castle Argghhh is commander of the Fighting Fusileers! A link from him is rarely unclicked. I mean, could you resist? For my rare readers who've never been to the Castle, go there and visit the Imperial Arsenal and while you're there, read the great articles by John and his Air Force Minion, Dusty, a retired Warthog driver. John's wife, She Who Will Be Obeyed (Beth), has her own site for those of you not so enamored of things that go boom and zoom. I'm sure most of you know all of this, but if I can just return a fraction of the traffic he's sent me, I'll feel better about not being able to drop something in his tip jar (which I don't think he even has...).


CaltechGirl has a great post up this morning, featuring graphics from yours truly. If the final movie doesn't open for you, try this.

From the Deep Dark...

h/t to Beloved Leader and apologies to H.P. Lovecraft.

Okay, I posted the movie last night, but I'm redating it and keeping the title for today's Spirit of America essay from Baldilocks. Yes, she's deep and she's dark, but only in the nicest sense of the terms. She's also an Air Force Retiree, like me, and she's got a closer perspective on those military members refusing to answer their nation's call to war. Read, contribute, return tomorrow, please.

Submitted for Outside the Beltway's Traffic Jam.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Having Some Fun

Sorry I haven't been doing too much regular posting lately, but I've been wrapped up in the Spirit of America Blogger Challenge, not doing any of the serious brainwork, but exhorting the troops on with an occasional dig at our competition, the dreaded Northern Alliance. I haven't had so much fun working...since I was working. I wish I could have done the same for the GunBloggers (through whom I actually donated more $$), but all my inspiration came from the Fusileers.

I hope to make animation a regular feature now that my Flash skills are coming back to me. I'm not a cartoonist. My laser mouse is a little too jumpy for drawing, but I can take a photo or two and make 'em dance. All I need is the inspiration and my sick sense of humor will handle the rest. Many thanks to Beloved Leader and CalTechGirl for ideas. Keep 'em comin', y'all!

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Spirit of America

Patriette is rallying the Fusileers today with an inspiring essay and a movie that puts our efforts into perspective. Rock on, Patriette!

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

T'was the Night Before Blogothon

Bloodspite at Technography bends a classic poem to his literary will to send a gift to people in need.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Fusileers Forward

The Cool Blue Blog has today's rallying cry for the Spirit of America Friends of Iraq drive. Check out the links to some of the projects underway to help get the Iraqi people up on their feet and working.

Anime Aircraft Pr0n - A6M2 Reisen (Zero)

On this day in 1941, our nation was thrust into a world conflict by the Imperial Japanese Navy's attack on our forces at Pearl Harbor and Hickham Field, Territory of Hawaii. The Mitsubishi Zero escorted dive, torpedo, and level bombers to the targets, swept the skies of American fighters, and strafed ground targets themselves. Originally a technological mystery, a Zero recovered intact later gave up its secrets. The Japanese sacrificed pilot armor and self-sealing fuel tanks for incredible maneuveribility. Armed with this knowledge, American tactics changed and the Zero suffered attrition unsustainable by the Japanese aircraft industry and the pool of trained Jap pilots. There would be later marks of Zero and other aircraft comparable to America's best, but the learning curve of Navy and Marine aviators (and Army Air Corps pilots) rose faster than the depleted Japanese pilot pool could manage.

The Battle of Baumholder Hill

Mostly Cajun used to be on the favorites list on my old computer, but somehow didn't get back on the new one until now. I couldn't have come back at a better's post describes the 1976 clash of mechanized infantry with a determined foe. Perhaps this says something about the Army of the 70s. Perhaps not. You decide.

Monday, December 06, 2004

More Awful Secrets

I think it was originally spelled "Lilecques," but he remains silent on the issue.

If you don't trust a French mime with your contributions to Spirit of America: Friends of Iraq, consider the Fighting Fusileers of Freedom. Straight White Guy has a message for you.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Sunday Ferret Blogging, 5 Dec

Today's weasel goodness is a shot of young Lenny being his freaky self. As an added bonus, Rustle poses on his master's bed.

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Hippies, Kitty-blenders, and Lawyers, Oh My!

The Fighting Fusileers continue to eat the patchouli-scented, radioactive dust of the Northern Alliance, $8534 to our $3175 (second place) as of posting time. It's all going to a good cause, but we'd like to point out why the team trying the hardest is the most worthy as a conduit for your contributions.

1. Fewer lawyers!
2. More veterans!
3. We like kittens!

In case you need more reason, he's some maritime surveillance footage you should see.

Mog has a post on kitten safety.

A murderous dictator has joined the Northern Alliance! AND BUTT SEX IS INVOLVED!

Thanks to Southern by Blog for scripting the picture.

Dark, Dreary Day

So much for the match tomorrow. It's been raining in southern Arizona all day today. I've been a lazy slug all week and didn't even strip and clean my balky riotgun. I was fixing to just use my Remington 870 and some of that Winchester ammo that won't cycle through my 1100. Ya know, it might be wise to take it to the range and fire it for the first time, seeing as how I keep it loaded next to the bed. Maybe I better roll the other way toward the coach gun. I'll try not to lose any sleep of it.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Giving Shouldn't Hurt

Click the pic to donate!

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Spirit of America Challenge

This Christmas season is a time for giving. What better time to show the people of the world's two budding democracies (knock on wood) that we're rooting for them to drop the implements of war and pick up the tools of reconstruction. Your dollars to Spirit of America will energize these projects. Wouldn't you rather have the Iraqis producing their own news broadcasts than listening to Al-Jazzera?

Bloggers across the 'sphere are gathering into alliances to raise more money than their rival bloggers; you can donate directly to the cause, but doing it by way of a blogger team might just rev up donations from others, and that benefits the cause most. This time, I spread the love around to the Fighting Fusileers of Freedom and the Gun Bloggers at Head's Bunker. Give what you can.

Don't Say A Thing About Fighting Like A Girl

Steve at the Llamabutchers put up a ridiculously easy (but fun) Photoshop challenge. It's actually a chick posing with a guitar fret exerciser (from Six Meat Buffet).

Update: This is screaming for a caption contest.
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