Speaking of Courtroom Sleepytime

Yes, I'm Segue Man today.

Now that I've been discharged from jury duty, I'm no longer subject to the Admonitions and can talk about the case. This was my third jury duty here in Arizona (or anywhere). I won't go into the dirty details, but let's just say that this go-round, just like my previous experiences, renewed my faith in the American Court System. It was a "chain-reaction collision" whereby the plaintiff at the far end claimed to have suffered neck and shoulder injuries, despite there being no visible or internal damage to the vehicle evident. We jurors hadn't discussed the case amongst ourselves until just before both sides brought in their "expert" witnesses, so I was worried early on that I might come across as a callous ogre to the others, because I smelled something fishy about the plaintiff's testimony from the start.

On the afternoon recess, I learned I needn't have worried. Most of the others jurors caught the putridity too, but we kept open minds for the expert testimony to follow. Even before then, I could have written up a checklist of de-putrification measures the plaintiff could/should have followed (but I won't), but the afternoon session sealed the decision for us. The plaintiff's expert was the most fishy of all; in the first five minutes after we were released for deliberations, we already had the six out of eight needed for a verdict...seven really, but we took time to go over the evidence until Krispy Kreme Boy finally smelled what we did. The preponderance of the evidence pointed out that, though responsible for the accident, the defendant had done no damage to the plaintiff.

After we found for the defense, the judge (really cool guy, by the way) came back to the jury room to thank us for our service and to answer any questions we had. He disclosed to us that the case had been to arbitration and the plaintiff had been awarded a sum less than half of what the plaintiff's ambulance-chaser had asked us to award, but the defense's insurance company appealed, so the case went to trial. Good move, Defense! We all left the courthouse with a refreshed appreciation for the American Way.