Arr, Mateys!!!!111!

One of the benefits of insomnia (and having no life) is that you can wreck real havoc on on-line multi-player games. Toss in a keen "gamer" eye and you get folks pissed at you pretty quickly.

The BinkerDad was trying to get me to join an on-line "organized crime" game, but I'd already logged on to a pirate game (aren't pirates so much cooler than mobsters?) and didn't want to multitask (especially with homework from college looming).

And we're only 10 days away from Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Anyway, this game is still in Beta testing, so I studied the mechanics and discovered that you could kick some major ass by stocking up on chewing tobacco (restores energy, a very limited commodity in this game) and preying on the slackers who haven't logged in for days (who've been accumulating spoils from their pirate gang and not banking it in their treasure chests) ... yes, I kicked some major butt!

Thanks to my efforts, tobacco has been banned from the store shelves. What can I say? I'm a giver!

Exploring the game, I organized a one-man gang to explore those benefits when another gang leader declared war on little ole me. What the chowderhead didn't realize was that I could kick some major ass while she had some major liabilities (striking where she was weakest, I was accruing respect points at twice the rate she was hammering me. Fortunately for her, she found the key to her survival and kicked out all the dead wood and assigned a strong-arm thug to keep me in check (by staking out the "sick bay" exit). Determined to not let the chowderhead profit from warring with me, I offered to "sell out" my gang to all the other gang leaders, and when I got no response, I declared gang war on them all. This way, I gave every incentive for them to attack me (and take away those respect points that might have otherwise gone back to Chowderhead's gang).

I've already offered to surrender to another gang (to see if that dissolves mine), but they're playing nicey-nicey. Don't they know that this is a PIRATE GAME?