I See Dead Peeps

I'm a bad Catholic.

I don't celebrate Lent because giving up anything meaningful would make my life unbearably miserable, and giving up something trivial would make Lent meaningless. I did "fast" on Good Friday, though -- no meat or alcohol.

For breakfast today, I had three slices of bacon and a six-pack of beer. (I kid! I kid!)

For dinner, I plan meat, meat, and a handful of jelly beans.

Update: In case God's keeping track, I gave up cigars and driving the Stang for Lent... I've got a drained battery to prove the latter. Ya think God hates a gamer?

Update Update: Mang, I'd hate to make it all the way to Holy Saturday, then run out for a cigar right after a Ron White comedy show. Good thing I didn't give up liquor!

Update Update Update: Ay Carumba! I'm three hours away from a Muriel Coronella and the Pope and all his Cardinals, Bishops, Monsignors, and Pederast Priests are laughing at me. Hey... it's Greenwich Meantime somewhere, isn't it?