Wednesday Inbox Funnies

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A professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?" She replied, "He's probably drinking beer at the bar with his friends."

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Two rednecks from Oklahoma were sitting around talking one afternoon.

After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife while you was off huntin', and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"

The second fellow crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.

Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about that, but it sure would make us even."

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Amy, a blond Texas girl from the city, marries a Texas rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the two-by-four just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, okay?"

The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Amy takes him down to the barn.
They walk along a long row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one . . .right here."
Terribly impressed by what he assumed was just another ditzy blond, the man asks, "How did you know this is the cow to be bred?" "That's simple -- by the nail over its stall," Amy explains.

Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"

As she walks away, she turns her head back over her shoulder and says to the man, "I guess it's to hang your pants on."