Cowboy Blob's Saloon and Shootin Gallery

I'm not a real Cowboy, but I play one in the movies.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Happy Birthday to Me!

Jeez...I turn 44 today. I don't think I've checked snailmail all week; at least that'll guarantee I'll have at least one non-bill piece of mail in my box. I better get motivated...the house is a mess, both vehicles need oil changes, my new SOCOM-16 is still dirty, but not properly sighted in, the backyard has overgrown into a jungle (but the flowers are nice). At least I've been staying ahead of the ferret poop problem. I don't lock them in the cage all day, but the cage-bottom papers are more convenient to them than the litterboxes, so they've been good about keeping on the paper.

I haven't exercised in a few weeks, I've been very spotty about taking my meds, there is so much that's dysfunctional in my life right now...I need a bossy girlfriend. A TBBBNG (Tall Blond Big-Breasted Norse Goddess) to adjust my attitude, to manage the sticks and carrots, to drag me away from this blasted internet addiction, run me through a Relationship Boot Camp, and make me decide on a college major.

Here's a nice tangent: TBBBNGs. TBBBNGs are not even my ideal of womanhood, but a concept I hatched after having nothing but Korean girlfriends for a while. TBBBNGs are everything Korean girls aren't (in my own warped sense); I even encountered one once. A tall (taller than me) blond college debate champion scared me to death rubbing my leg under the table. I didn't know how to handle that and froze like a deer in headlights. She lost interest soon enough and went after a Marine. Then I learned how I'd dodged a bullet. The champion Debater made the guy miserable because she couldn't turn it off. Think Monty Python, "Hello, I'd like to have an argument." I'm a pretty quiet guy myself and would probably have had a nervous breakdown keeping up with her. So maybe I don't need a TBBBNG...maybe I just need a nice Korean girl with a rolling pin.

8 Comments:

  • At 2:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Happy Birthday!!

    TBBBNG. Heh. :-)

     
  • At 5:37 PM, Blogger Mr. Smithereen said…

    Happy Birthday Bob! I would recommend a quiet farm girl from Idaho.

     
  • At 5:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    .. just concentrate on the beauty of the jungle flowers, Cowboy... Happy Birthday, man... many, many happy returns...

    all the best,

    Eric

     
  • At 10:30 PM, Blogger BULLSEYE said…

    Happy birthday you 44 mag. It only gets better. Next year your a 45 acp and before you know it the big 50 caliber like me! All right, here we go, ya ready?...one, two, three, four...

    You say it's your birthday
    It's my birthday too--yeah
    They say it's your birthday
    We're gonna have a good time
    I'm glad it's your birthday
    Happy birthday to you.

    Yes we're going to a party party
    Yes we're going to a party party
    Yes we're going to a party party.

    I would like you to dance--Birthday
    Take a cha-cha-cha-chance-Birthday
    I would like you to dance--Birthday
    Dance

    You say it's your birthday
    Well it's my birthday too--yeah
    You say it's your birthday
    We're gonna have a good time
    I'm glad it's your birthday
    Happy birthday to you.

    I got blisters on my trigger finger after that song...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

     
  • At 12:38 AM, Blogger Rachelle Jones said…

    I am glad there is some man in the World that understands what the constant nagging and bitching is for. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!

     
  • At 12:38 AM, Blogger Rachelle Jones said…

    I am glad there is some man in the World that understands what the constant nagging and bitching is for. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!

     
  • At 1:58 AM, Blogger Mr. Smithereen said…

    Bullseye "triggered" some memories. Remember when we were 4.5 bb's? Me either. All the sudden we were 7mm then 7.62! Next thing you know we were 9mm. Then 8, 10, 12, 16, 20 gauge. The world was our oyster! .22! .25! 38..44..45.. Show us the way Bob!

     
  • At 10:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Happy (belated) birthday Blob...

     

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