Happy Birthday to Me!

Jeez...I turn 44 today. I don't think I've checked snailmail all week; at least that'll guarantee I'll have at least one non-bill piece of mail in my box. I better get motivated...the house is a mess, both vehicles need oil changes, my new SOCOM-16 is still dirty, but not properly sighted in, the backyard has overgrown into a jungle (but the flowers are nice). At least I've been staying ahead of the ferret poop problem. I don't lock them in the cage all day, but the cage-bottom papers are more convenient to them than the litterboxes, so they've been good about keeping on the paper.

I haven't exercised in a few weeks, I've been very spotty about taking my meds, there is so much that's dysfunctional in my life right now...I need a bossy girlfriend. A TBBBNG (Tall Blond Big-Breasted Norse Goddess) to adjust my attitude, to manage the sticks and carrots, to drag me away from this blasted internet addiction, run me through a Relationship Boot Camp, and make me decide on a college major.

Here's a nice tangent: TBBBNGs. TBBBNGs are not even my ideal of womanhood, but a concept I hatched after having nothing but Korean girlfriends for a while. TBBBNGs are everything Korean girls aren't (in my own warped sense); I even encountered one once. A tall (taller than me) blond college debate champion scared me to death rubbing my leg under the table. I didn't know how to handle that and froze like a deer in headlights. She lost interest soon enough and went after a Marine. Then I learned how I'd dodged a bullet. The champion Debater made the guy miserable because she couldn't turn it off. Think Monty Python, "Hello, I'd like to have an argument." I'm a pretty quiet guy myself and would probably have had a nervous breakdown keeping up with her. So maybe I don't need a TBBBNG...maybe I just need a nice Korean girl with a rolling pin.