Happy Birthday to Me!
I haven't exercised in a few weeks, I've been very spotty about taking my meds, there is so much that's dysfunctional in my life right now...I need a bossy girlfriend. A TBBBNG (Tall Blond Big-Breasted Norse Goddess) to adjust my attitude, to manage the sticks and carrots, to drag me away from this blasted internet addiction, run me through a Relationship Boot Camp, and make me decide on a college major.
Here's a nice tangent: TBBBNGs. TBBBNGs are not even my ideal of womanhood, but a concept I hatched after having nothing but Korean girlfriends for a while. TBBBNGs are everything Korean girls aren't (in my own warped sense); I even encountered one once. A tall (taller than me) blond college debate champion scared me to death rubbing my leg under the table. I didn't know how to handle that and froze like a deer in headlights. She lost interest soon enough and went after a Marine. Then I learned how I'd dodged a bullet. The champion Debater made the guy miserable because she couldn't turn it off. Think Monty Python, "Hello, I'd like to have an argument." I'm a pretty quiet guy myself and would probably have had a nervous breakdown keeping up with her. So maybe I don't need a TBBBNG...maybe I just need a nice Korean girl with a rolling pin.