Cowboy Blob's Saloon and Shootin Gallery

I'm not a real Cowboy, but I play one in the movies.

Monday, December 20, 2004

A Christmas Miracle

From a friend's Email:

I had a shitty fucking day. From morning 'til night. I locked myself out of my truck....twice....third time in three days....third time in ten years, at least. First time, on the weekend, cost me $50.00 because there wasn't anybody in the office to bring me the spares.

I picked up 'residential' appliances for my project today....they loaded the wrong stuff. I spent five fucking hours getting stuff that was only two miles from my project, working with people who would just disappear. Going from warehouse to warehouse while these stupid fucks scratched their nuts and picked their noses. By the time I got everything I was supposed to get
the day was done.

I have some last minute shopping to do.

I'm in the parking lot of Sam's Club....freezing my balls off late in the afternoon....locked out of my truck for the second time today. I decide to go into Sam's and warm up, waiting for my office to bring me keys to let me in my truck for the second time today. Did I mention that our office is across the street from Sam's Club? Did I mention nobody was in the office
late in the day? Did I mention I have keys and a code to get in the office....LOCKED IN MY FUCKING TRUCK???? Anyway, I need to use the restroom.

I'm pissy, cold, and nearly on my last squeeze as I sit and do my thing. Did I notice this stall was out of paper?????? No. Don't be fucking silly. I haven't noticed keys in the ignition before locking my door lately. Why would I look for paper in the fucking dispenser?

I'm sitting there, smoke coming out of my ears, contemplating either drowning myself in the bowl, or pulling up my pants and getting 'squishy' until I get home to clean myself up when....there's a rustle from the next stall and miraculously a line of toilet paper appears under the partition separating us. I look at it for a moment and wonder what the person next to
me will think if I scoop some of his paper. I bend over and peer under the partition. There's nobody there. I bend over a little farther....nope. I'm alone in the bank of stalls. I reach down and grab the line of paper. I pull, thinking I'll get a sheet or two....sufficient to at least remove the lumps....and I get a sting of sheets. I break off what I need, use it and pull again for a second round. I get another string of sheets.

Now! _Everybody_ knows that public restroom toilet paper comes off the roll one sheet at a time.

Was that a magic moment or what????

Merry Christmas everybody. My festive season just improved.


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