The Business End
Found a few good reviews and walk-throughs on YouTube; those, on top of those times I was actually paying attention to my DP friends, should get me started on the road to proficiency. Another way will be to take a working vacation, bringing enough of the gear to make my own short and get some on-the-job self-training.
As I've been asked to DP for 1219 Studios' Tucson Terrorfest entry this summer, why not go home beforehand to PA and shoot "Hooftytown Horror?" My Bro-in-Law, the BinkerDad, is a big horror flick aficionado, so I'll certainly consult him -- and probably put him in front of the camera since I don't know any actors in Hooftytown.
Also have some ideas to get the Binker herself involved... this should be fun.