Cowboy Blob's Saloon and Shootin Gallery

I'm not a real Cowboy, but I play one in the movies.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

You Want Economic Recovery?

I got your economic recovery! Put me in charge. I'm a small "L" libertarian, which means I vote Republican because the Big "L" Libertarians are always too loony to elect. My platform?

Legalize marijuana -- so we can tax it. Why should all that money go to criminals when Uncle Sam could get a big cut? Weed is no more dangerous than alcohol or tobacco (two big money-makers for the tax man). Maryjane will no longer be a "gateway drug" if you're buying it from the store instead of a shady character trying to sell you crack too.

Legalize prostitution in all 50 states -- so we can tax it. And keep tabs on authorized sex workers to ensure they're STD-free. Look for the workforce to unionize, except in right-to-work states. Insert joke about ugly 50-year-old hooker, "But I've got seniority!"

Legalize speeding -- so we can tax it. Pay extra when you renew your vehicle registration (about the cost of two speeding tickets) and get a high-visibility tax stamp for your bumper. Get caught speeding without one... that's tax evasion! We impound your car. Legalized speeding will only apply on interstate highways in dry, daylight conditions.

Abolish the IRS and replace it with the Bureau of Vice Revenue (BVR). It ought to make being an accountant fun!

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10 Comments:

  • At 11:11 PM, Blogger cmblake6 said…

    Flat Tax, "Fair Tax", WeverTF you wish to call it. No more income tax, no IRS, none of that. Add $.015-$.02 sales tax per dollar. That's it. Zip. TEH ENDâ„¢

     
  • At 11:16 PM, Blogger Jake said…

    I'd vote for you!

     
  • At 5:26 AM, Blogger Serr8d said…

    There's a couple reasons mj won't ever be legalized.

    The first, it can't be taxed. There's no way to tax a plant that grows like a weed, and can easily be grown in one's windowsill. The gov't just can't allow that.

    Second, the alcohol industry is big-time against the 'competition'. F'rinstance, here in Tennessee (where I've heard some of the world's best skunk is grown) the ex-governor, Ned (Waistline!) McWherter owns a beer distributorship. Much funds from those sorts to politicos to keep mj illegal.

    I would be for legalization of mj, btw. And for the shoot-on-sight rule for cocaine/heroin importers. We don't grow that stuff over here.

     
  • At 5:41 PM, Blogger Desert Cat said…

    Psh. As if maryjane wasn't *already* competition for beer? Anyway, any pothead will tell you beer goes just fine with mj. They shouldn't worry. It's the junk food companies that you'd think ought to be lobbying *for* legalized mj.

     
  • At 5:43 PM, Blogger Desert Cat said…

    Oh, I forgot. As for taxing a plant, just how many people grow their own tabbaccy to avoid the cigarette tax? Didn't think so.

    If legal haze could be bought at the corner dime store, what lazy stoner would bother with growing his own?

     
  • At 6:59 PM, Blogger Serr8d said…

    Desert Cat, do you know where to find a bag of tobacco seeds? Or how to grow a tobacco plant?

    Tobacco doesn't grow like a...(wait for it now...) ...a weed.

    I've seen mj nekkid in the wild. I've never seen a tobacco plant growing anywhere outside a cultivated, well-tended field.

    It's always about the money. Follow the money and you'll find the answers.

     
  • At 7:17 PM, Blogger Cowboy Blob said…

    Dudes, there's gonna be folks smoking' ditchweed just like there are folks who do home brewing and wine-making. Once MJ farmers work up their economies of scale and develop the finest blends (what's that, Maui-Wowie?) the average weed consumer will probably avoid the iffy stuff in favor of prime USDA factory-rolled sensimilla. Remember, possessing commercial quantities of mj will be under government scrutiny... we'll seize it, then sell it back to the grower at market rate plus tax. If he doesn't like that, he probably was going to sell it sans tax, the dirty little tax-evadin' gomer. The stuff probably won't be commercial quality, so we could donate it to a hostel for terminal cancer patients or something.

     
  • At 8:56 PM, Blogger Desert Cat said…

    Ditchweed...is just about as good as grabbing any random bunch of weed stalks and trying to smoke them. Gag...I tried to get high that way once when I was a kid. I gave up.

    There is a world of difference between that junk and the carefully selected hybrids that are out there.

    One tiny bud...***X-P***

    And no, you won't find that growing wild anywhere.

    But you can buy tobacco seeds in some garden catalogs.

     
  • At 7:15 PM, Blogger Serr8d said…

    Tobacco seeds are...tiny. A teaspoon will start a 20' X 40' seed plot. Those are started in February, under a plastic cover, or in a greenhouse. Plastic is cheap and effective.

    Thousands of plants germinate, then the grower gets his...crew...to take the better seedlings to his field. Usually, just a few acres; say a farmer has 20 acres, only 5 acres are allotted for tobacco (there's government intervention, to keep the stuff from being overgrown, and to force the farmer to alternate crops year-to-year).

    The better varieties are cut, dried, and smoked in special barns, then taken to the market for sale.

    But MJ is still the king cash crop. I've **heard** of some of Tennessee's backyard or wild-grown varieties being the most sought-after chronic in North America. MJ is the largest cash crop in Tennessee, larger than tobacco, corn, soybeans, anything else. Helicopters prowl the forests; every few days you hear of some new patch found and destroyed. When that happens, some kids may have a bad Christmas.

     
  • At 8:04 PM, Blogger Desert Cat said…

    This could all be true. But if so I gayrun-dang-tee you it ain't common ditchweed they're planting.

     

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