Cowboy Blob's Saloon and Shootin Gallery

I'm not a real Cowboy, but I play one in the movies.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Cowboy Pickup Lines

"You sure make me wish I hadn't crapped my pants when that bull charged"

"Got 8 seconds?"

"Ropes, spurs, leather gloves -- Honey, even if I weren't no cowboy, we're talking a good time!"

"Honey, I need a belt buckle this large to keep from gettin' arrested in Mississippi."

"Ain't no rodeo clown in the world that could keep me off you, Darlin'."

"Here's my number, call me when you need a few bucks."

"Run if ya want, Missy, but I'll have you hog-tied quicker than you can say 'stay away from me you Skoal-chewin'freak.'"

"How'd you like to put a pinch of me between your cheek and gum?"

"Them calves of yours sure look like they could use a bit of ropin'."

"I'll be in Intensive Care later. Why don't you drop by?"

"Is that a pelvis broken in three places, or are you just happy to see me?"

"That's right, I said 'AND the horse you rode in on.'"

An Arizona cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?'
'No', he replies, 'I just got this state-of the art watch, and I was just testing it.'
The intrigued woman says, 'A state of the art watch? What's so special about it?'
The cowboy explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'
The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?'
'Well, it says you're not wearing any panties'
The woman giggles and replies, 'Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!'
The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, 'Damn thing's an hour fast.'

He: You are very pretty. Do you have any Texan in you?
She: No.
He: Do you want some?

"I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag. "

I shaved my head, wore a toga and sandals and went to a bar. I went up to unsuspecting babes and said, "Hey little girl, want some Gandhi?"

Hey, wait....



  • At 10:32 AM, Blogger BobG said…

    Three biggest lies a cowboy tell:

    1. My truck is all paid for.
    2. I won this belt buckle.
    3. I was just helping that sheep over a fence...

  • At 4:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This is good stuff !!

  • At 11:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Very good! Im using these!


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