Cowboy Blob's Saloon and Shootin Gallery

I'm not a real Cowboy, but I play one in the movies.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Africa Hot!

Went to the Cactus Combat League's 3-Gun Practice Match today...saw a man in orange robes burst into flames.

I brought my standard kit, and performed rather miserably. Maybe I wasn't so bad, but next to Jon's Johnny Storm act, I was slow and sloppy. Jon's become re-enamored of his Colt HBar (sans optics), so he had a great Tactical Iron workout in the heat. Glock 34 and Bennelli Semi-Auto rounded out his speed kit.

Did I mention it was hot?

The night before, Jon and I got in a game of Steel Panthers: MBT. Who'da'thunk we'll roll up one of my old stand-bys: Kenya vs. Nigeria, circa 1970, Delay Mission? I've been playing a lot of defensive missions (the lazy man's war game) on my own, challenging myself to eschew armor completely. Methinx Jon was a little alarmed when he saw my side of the map was defended by nothing but infantry...and a half dozen Wombat recoilless rifles on jeeps. Sprinkled in with the rifle companies whose only armor defense was rifle-grenades and a bazooka with the platoon leaders, were two dozen bazooka teams. Since we had only a 12-hex visibility and lots of cover, I knew I could live without Kenyan armor (even though I adore the Saladin scout tank). The stovepipe boys would acquit themselves well, thanks to the terrain and generous artillery support (we sometimes wondered whether our 25-pounders were outfitted with Nerf ammunition only). Jon sent a few tanks down to back me up, but the grunts held the line. Actually, the grunts held the line and the redlegs reduced it to manageable levels.

A good time was had by all; we imbibed some tasty rum and coke, and after Jon retired for the evening, I uploaded my first video to Streaming Outdoors (not available yet). I also availed myself of Jon's cable internet connection to check out many of the videos available. Normally I can count on getting only restless sleep the night before a match (the rum only ensures I get some sleep), and last night was no exception. But instead of me having dreams of meticulously plotting artillery in the game, I was treated to Kim Du Toit narrating a documentary on African armed forces.

On that note:

A man was on holiday in Kenya. While he was walking through the bush, he came across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.

As carefully and as gently as he could he removed the thorn and the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

For years after, the man remembered the elephant and the events of that day. One day the man was walking through the zoo with his son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they are standing at the rail. It stared at him and the man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.

After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.

The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.


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