A Mass-Murder Primer

So, you've been wronged by your least favorite professor/political representative/girlfriend/boss?  They failed to recognize your genius/specialness/charm?  Those bastards!  I want to help you exact the revenge that will vindicate your miserable life!

You're on a one-way trip to message delivery; don't waste unnecessary money on name brand magazines for the weapons you've chosen for your mission.  Get the cheaper Korean knock-offs.  Magazines are a point of failure, so go with a few large ones, rather than the smaller 10-rounders you'll probably fumble away.

Spend the money you saved on ammo magazines on THE killing machine, a Saiga drum-fed shotgun fresh out of the box.  Don't bother feeding single shells into a clunky old farmer's tool like the Remington 870... who excels at mass murder like the Russians and Chinese? 

Speaking of which, load up on quality but super-cheap ammo from Wolf and NORINCO.  I still have a stash of both I'm saving for my own spree... or the Zombie Apocalypse (whichever comes first).

Do not invest in ballistic armor... it might protect for a second, but it hurts like a mo-fo when hit.  Triple the doses of your prescription meds, instead. 

And Don't, for heavens sake, go out to the range and practice shooting!  Recreational shooting is a known source of stress relief... you wouldn't want to mellow your great big knot of craziness, would you?