Cowboy Blob's Saloon and Shootin Gallery

I'm not a real Cowboy, but I play one in the movies.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Dispatches from the Oil Wars

My friend Jon is a big fan of the computer war game Steel Panthers: MBT, so much so that he keeps up Play-By-Email games with at least two other friends (I demurred from playing, since he always crushes me. Maybe some day...).

In the latest game, a low-point Saudi-Yemeni struggle over an oilfield, Jon and Carl have exchanged some entertaining Emails to accompany the saved turns they send to each other. Jon shared some of these with me.

Jon: As instability spreads throughout the Middle East, radical factions in the Yemen military decide to disrupt oil production in Saudi Arabia in order to compound the expanding oil crisis. Saudi intelligence detects a Yemen light armor strike force is heading for the Al Zawya petroleum facility. With only a little time to react, the Saudi High Command orders what little forces they have in the area to react to the threat.

Yemen (me) vs Saudi Arabia (you)

1500 pts 1500 pts 55 visibility/ 15 turn game

Saudi owns all the objectives at the start (positional advantage)
No artillery allowed for either side
No air assests available
Only light armor units (IFV, light tanks, armored cars, SP-ATGM, SP recoilless)
no main battle tanks
5 snipers allowed

** All leg units must be loaded into vehicles at the start because they could not have made it to the battle unless they had a ride! **

Carl: "Don't worry, Mr. President," said King and Prime Minister Abdallah bin Abd al-Aziz Al Saud of the kingdom of Al Mamlakah al Arabiyah as Suudiyah. "We have deployed our rapid reaction force to secure Al Zawya. They have some of the latest American weapons." He was glad that this was solely a Saudi operation, and that his troops flew the green Saudi flag, with the Shahada creed in large white Arabic script (translated as "There is no god but God; Muhammad is the Messenger of God"). He never really liked the stars and stripes.

"We promise to keep oil production at 100%. We know you love your 4x4 Hummer's!"

"That's great! Thanks King Abda....Adballa....oh hell. Mr. Prime Minister!" said Shrub Jr.

Jon: The Yemeni raiders looked out upon the Al Zawya petroleum facility, stark against the shimmering sands It was the wellspring of Saudi power and pride. Soon the Saudi princes would be kings of sand and nothing else, beggars of scraps from proud Bedouin tribesmen. The fiery destruction of this stinking tangle of metal pipes and storage tanks would be the first feast of ash upon their tongues the lapdogs of the Great American Devil, Shrub Jr., would soon taste. Though the steeds had changed, this soon-to-be battle was no different than those from centuries ago. The madness began anew.

Carl: King al-Aziz Al Saud had always been rather uncomfortable with Yemen's experiment with democracy. He remembered back to 1998, when Saudi Arabia had secretly attempted to sabotage this democratic regime through military intimidation as well as aiding internal strife within Yemen. But he never imagined that the raiders would dare attack his country....

Jon: God is Great! Charge!

Carl: The mosque tower bell chimed midnight...and the Saudi troops were already weary....

Jon: Attack! Attack! Attack!

Carl: Defend! Defend! Defend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jon: (Insert vicious sounds of battle here)

Carl: Prince Saud Al-Faisal couldn't believe his good fortune! He was planning on a covert operation by his elite bodyguard force to blow up a Saudi refinery, and blame it on the Yemenese government. And now, Yemen was clearly the aggressor! The Prince knew that his kingdom was running out of oil, and that the only way to maximize profits was by radically increasing the cost of their precisious oil. $150 per barrel soon!! He hoped this small Yemenese raiding party would do a little damage before they died!!!

Jon: Hmmn. These fat Saudi pigs fight harder than we thought they would.

To Be Continued...



Post a Comment

<< Home

Visits Since September 11, 2004