Cowboy Blob's Saloon and Shootin Gallery

I'm not a real Cowboy, but I play one in the movies.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Why Does the Left Fear the Draft?

Warning: caffeine-induced bad humored rant follows:

Hey, Moonbat, what could be so bad about a military draft? If circumstances got so dire that the Selective Service actually started Selecting, you have nothing to worry about. You can easily get a Backdoor Draft Deferrment, that is, reach out to one of your gay friends and take it up the Backdoor and get excused for conduct nonconducive to military service. Get pictures, so the draft board'll believe you. What? Too straight for that? Got something against gays? Are you really a Liberal Democrat, or just trying to get into some liberal chick's pants? Can't you just take one for the Flipper?

What about Canada? That's where most of the Vietnam-era dodgers went. That's a Socialist's Paradise, so you'll fit right in there. Cheap health care, French accents, minor-league hockey, almost everyone thinks like you do...what else could you ask for? All you have to do is put your life on hold for a few years until another weak-kneed Democrat takes office and offers amnesty. Happens all the time.

Another option is to head for the hills! Unfortunately, your only woodcraft consists of handcuffing yourself to a tree to prevent lumberjacks from doing their job or harassing hunters in protest. Forget about finding someone to help; all the woodsmen and hunters went and enlisted at the first call-up. that bear shit?

But whatever you do, don't shuffle into the induction center with an attitude like yours. I want motivated, red-blooded Americans protecting my family, not some whiny, foot-dragging malcontent who wasn't even smart enough to stay in college. I've met some draftees who stayed in the military long after the draft ended. They first had to have a fire lit under them by cranky, hard-living men of skill and bravery. The ones who stayed had a fire lit within them, a fire that burns hotter and longer than the butt-scorching variety. If you Fahrenheit (Butt##) is that much lower than your Fahrenheit (Heart##), maybe you'd be better off freezing your Butt in Canada.

A man who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

John Stuart Mill


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