Cowboy Blob's Saloon and Shootin Gallery

I'm not a real Cowboy, but I play one in the movies.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Dispatches (Cont'd)

Jon: (Lots of machinegun noise here)

Carl: Lieutenant Achmed al Yomamma had lived in the United States for several years. He remembered a college football chant from a game he had seen back in 2005... "Push them back, push them back...wayyyyyyy back!!!!"

Jon: The Yemeni tribesmen too had heard of this saying.

Carl: The armoured vehicle commander feared the enemy's TOWs. But an order was an order. He accelerated over the rise...and went home to Allah and the 77 Virginians...

Jon: At first this raid seemed like great fun, thought Haktoub. The looks on those Saudi security guards just before riddling them with his AK-47 was classic! But his arms were starting to get tired from reloading so much. The clan leader didn't talk about reloading during the morning pep talk just before the raid. And he didn't have very much ammo left either, he thought as he grabbed another magazine from the headless Yemeni tribesman near his feet. "Mustapha's hairy balls!" he muttered under his breath, are all the sweaty fat Saudis pigs in Mecca in those buildings across the street?

Carl: (breaking character) That was funny! You really should consider writing a book Jon! You're a good writer!! ;-) Btw, your TOW teams deserve medals! They are great shooters (unfortunately for me)!

Jon: Though his arms were weary, the thought of collecting gold teeth from the Saudis he had slain drew Haktoub on. The problem was that most of them lay exposed in the street, and these Saudis seemed to be able to shoot, unlike most of the sheep farmers he had previously attacked. As if to prove his point, a burst of machinegun fire blasted stone chips in his face. Angrily, Haktoub pulled the pin on his last hand grenade with his teeth and threw it towards the window where the fire was coming from. He spit out the grenade pin and one of his few remaining teeth as he reached for his trophy knife. By Allah's beard he would claim some of those golden treasures that lay so enticingly near.

[Carl's enjoying Jon's dispatches as much as the game.]

Jon: Haktoub was pleased. That last golden tooth he dug out from the skinny Saudi private seemed to fit quite well into the gap of the tooth he had broken when he pulled the pin from the hand grenade. He laughed at the plight of the foolish southern tribesmen who had joined their raid at the last moment. Those idiots had passed up perfectly good gold teeth in order to look for Snickers bars, the favored western sweets, in the refinery control room. The Saudi special forces there ensured that those southern fools would only find treats in paradise. What status is there in chocolate? Now with teeth, those you can talk about around the campfire. As he moved on, Haktoub stuffed his precious bag of teeth into his robes and grabbed the dead private's pistol. He just might need it to get out of this place.

Carl: The Saudi scout found the remains of his friend. He noticed that several of his friend's teeth were missing. "Barbarians," he thought. "Damn Yemenese vermin! How could they steal from the dead. Now my friend's soul will not rest. If I find any of them, they will die slowly!"

Jon: Off to the north Haktoub heard a Yemenese victory cry ring out. It sounded like someone finally made a break in the Saudi line. Haktoub hurried to gather his share of loot.

Carl: The cheer was short lived, as the high-velocity round vaporized the Yemenese sniper...

Jon: Haktoub arrived just in time to see the clan chief's eldest son martyred. Through the smoke, he spied two Saudi armored vehicles that were providing cover fire to their infantry. Haktoub ran up to the clan chief's BMP-2, Lion's Roar and gave Moamar the news of his son. Moamar gave thanks to Allah for his son's heroic end and commanded Haktoub to lead him to those responsible. Haktoub led Lion's Roar through the smoky battlefield where Moamar showed why he was the clan chief. Lion's Roar became like its namesake and Haktoub watched in awe as it drove the Saudis before it like jackals before the lion.

Jon: While Moamar and his steed Lion's Roar terrorized the Saudi sheep to the north, Haktoub grabbed the fallen martyr's rifle and headed south to flank the enemy. As he rounded the corner, he was surprised to see Saudis pouring out of the buildings across the street. Apparently there were some wolves in this Saudi flock. A couple of Yemeni BRDM-2s also spotted the enemy troops and opened up on them with their heavy 14.5mm machineguns. The large slugs shredded the troops and broke their morale. Haktoub took careful aim with the martyr's rifle and started picking off the Saudi NCOs trying to rally their men. Once a couple of the braver men were shot down by unseen fire, the rest of the Saudis fled back the way they had come. Haktoub reached for another stripper clip of ammunition to load into his weapon and heard another Yemeni victory cry to the north. Maybe there was more loot to be won this day.

To be continued next week....



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